Here's a truckstop, instead of St. Peter's

Today could have probably gone better, but i have clean laundry again, which is a nice change over last week.

I don't think i've ever liked what's followed after, "i really need to talk to you."

this has been a very emo weekend for me, and Coldplay and R.E.M. definitely aren't hindering that, but they are providing an appropriate soundtrack.

~The Sidewinder

If i go crazy then will you still call me superman?

I've almost made it through this week, only one more day and then everybody will be back and life will continue. Good times.

I've had a pretty unproductive week, although i've gotten a few things that i needed to get done out of the way. Otherwise this week has been very thoughtful, and i find myself missing mississippi. Today i was hiking about through the mountains, and it reminded me of being a little kid and wandering around the woods near my house. I wish i'd had utah then, there's so much more to explore, i could go for miles just behind my dorm.

Today i've been missing murrah soccer. We really had some good times. I don't think i'll ever have as much fun as i did at some of those games. Even though i have intermural here, it's not the same, we're not a team, and winning and losing barely matters. Most of all i miss a way to constantly play soccer. I really like soccer, like a lot. I think if i were good enough i would have no trouble playing pro-soccer. It'd be so much fun. Since it's too late now, i'd settle for a large group of soccer playing friends.

I miss Sal and Mookie's too. That was a really fun job, i think if pro soccer doesn't pan out, i would enjoy working at a restaurant. I know it won't happen, because i don't want that as my career, unless i became a chef or something, cus those guys are awesome.

Lets see, what else. I just generally miss having a lot of friends. When you only have a few friends it's pretty easy to find yourself with nothing to do.

I'm pretty much out of things to say, i wrote extensively in my real journal today, that was good. Other than that my life is pretty calm, tepid even. Maybe i'll have exciting dreams...

gosh, these are so emo sometimes.

1 Is the Loneliest Number That You'll Ever Know

Incidentally, i'm not actually that emo, or that lonely, but there is definitely a slight dearth of friendship at the U. I've met a bunch of people, it's not like i've been holed up in my room all day, i just haven't really met anyone i want to spend lots of time with. So yeah. It's also possible i just haven't really gotten to know anyone well enough to have a good time spending a lot of time with people, but i dunno.

In happier news, i've decided i'm not as behind in calculus as i feel, considering i did all of the homework last night without help, and when i got to class today a bunch of people were frantically swapping answers. So that made me fee a little bit more comfortable. Otherwise class is pretty groovy, i finished my reading for The Odyssey earlier today, that was good.

Church is fun, i'm glad i have it to get me out of my dorm and do fun things. I had my first Family Home Evening last night, we played tag and ate cookies, and brainstormed about what we can do. I need to pay my tuition today, because MTA is holding out on me, i also need to drop them a line and tell them to send me my $750 or i'll get out of this chair and drop them like 3rd period french.

Anyway, i think i'd better head to class, and then i hope to swim and register for intermural sports. I can't think of a witty ending, and i'm about to be late for class, so so long.

“‘Sort of’ is such a harmless thing to say. Sort of. It’s just a filler. Sort of - it doesn’t really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like after ‘I love you’ or ‘You’re going to live’ or ‘It’s a boy.’” ~Demetri Martin

i'm wasting my time. Not just right now, but consistantly over the past few days and weeks. i need to be do something productive with my life. I think that might be why i'm feeling kinda crappy generally as of late. Life is fun and all, but it really has no point. What goal do i have? Soccer is done, i don't care about bowling enough for it to be rewarding, and i'm so close to being done with high school, every day i'm ready to just stay home. I don't know if i can finish scouting. For the first time since 12 i'm realizing that there's a possibility of not getting my Eagle Scout. That's such a failure. I really hate failing at stuff. It's why i hated breaking my arm (the first time in cambridge), it's why i regret the fact that i stopped swimming, it's why i don't quit piano, or any of my other hard classes for that matter. It's why i kept trying, even when it was clear that it would never get anywhere.

I need some reason to get up in the morning, because right now i don't have one, and it all makes it feel worthwhile. Even though i enjoy most of the day, when the day is done, what have i accomplished? I need to start working out again, i need to try to finish my scouting stuff, i need to get my piano music (i'm going to do that after i finish this). I really should start doing my homework again. I need to put forth some real effort in something. Right now i'm just kinda moving along. I need to get a job, i need a lot of things.

I've really gotta find something new.

How long must we sing this song?

Today while i was sitting in church (for some reason today in church i was very introspective, i think it was because i was sleepy, and the talks waxed soporific) i realized that i was really ready to be somewhere else. I don't really feel like i fit in where i'm at anymore. It's not that i feel left out or anything like that, it just that everything isn't quite right for me. School is either too much work or too boring (if not both) or english, which i still thoroughly enjoy. Soccer's done, which takes that out. Church is by and large too basic for me, which isn't suprising. I realized today that i'm just a couple weeks away from being essentially done with young mens (at 18 we leave youth and start real church). The same thing happened to me just before the end of primary (which is for kids 3-12). I'm looking forward to having lots of people my age in my church, which i imagine will happen once i'm bussed (or more likely flown) off to some remote city to begin my illustrious education. Even just within my friends, the whole not drinking and other moral convictions deal kinda makes party's not my thing. I dunno, i just feel like i'm in the wrong place for where i am in my life. It'll probably pass.

I think i can let this blog do movie reviews too, so without much ado: The Covenent.

I was really dissapointed with the Covenent. It's the first movie i've just disliked in a long time. It didn't really seem to find it's focus, unable to decide between horror or action. The scary scenes were forced and the action scenes weren't nearly epic enough. The super powers weren't nearly cool enough. I think that actually might be my main complaint, now that i think about it. I'll overlook most movies' flaws if they're fun to watch, this one wasn't though. With 'ultimate power' they just faught like Dragon Ball Z expect less cool. The ending was phoney, and the dialog was tacky. It was like if the WB got hit by some cheap horror flick. It didn't really explain things well, and it awkwardly forced a sequal to be possible, without even enough resolution to let this movie sit on it's own. Every cool part of this movie was revealed in the previews, which also gave away the plot. And that rediculous weather. I know fall in New England can get a little crazy, but a thunderstorm every night is just silly.

Anyway, final score, 2/5. If it's on you might watch it, but don't go out of your way.