In this time of Introspection, on the eve of my election:

So first, my blog has become super popular over the last week. Not really, but four separate people commented, which is about even with the comments by people i actually know. I dunno what that means, but it's probably something big.

Anyway, i did manage to pull myself out of the wallow of inaction (evidenced by 3 blog posts in 3 days) and accomplish something. So that felt good, i went swimming, i read most of Ender's Shadow (not quite as good as Ender's Game, because i don't like Bean as much, he's too cold and calculating, but still a fun read) and started reading Crime and Punishment again. I only got to the Crime when i was reading it in highschool. It's still a punishingly slow book, and i can't read more than a chapter unless i've had more than adequate sleep the night before. I've started waking up at 9 in an effort to shift towards the 6:30 alarm i'm looking forward to in 2 weeks (holy crap, 2 weeks). As soon as i manage to work that out (not staying up to blog at 1am will be key) i'll push it back to 8. There's no reason to push any farther than that since with the time zone change i'll be getting up at 7:30 central.

My biggest difficulty with swimming for exercise is my attention span. I have neither the patience nor the personality to swim freestyle slowly for miles (except when it's a race and i'm pacing myself). The best part about swim teams (or any athletic teams really) is you have friends and coaches to motivate you and keep otherwise boring exercise interesting. So i've been swimming 100m I.M.'s to keep things short and interesting. I've been switching the Butterfly out for other strokes some of the time because i'm still really out of shape and don't want to throw up in the nice people's bathroom again. But i figure over the next couple of weeks i'll be able to build it up to 200m IMs, butterfly included, just in time to swear off swimming for two years. I guess in the MTC i'll have to go back to weights. Maybe do a bike machine or something. I have a feeling running would take it out of my legs really fast, my knee still gives me trouble sometime, and my shin feels like it did back when i got shin splints.

Mild pain aside, life continues hurtling forward at a crawl. 2 weeks from now i'll be packed. I don't know how to deal with that. I am sort of accepting the idea of myself going into the MTC. It feels a lot like me going to college. I still have no idea how to feel about it, can't believe i'm really old enough to be doing this, but am expecting it sort of. I don't quite know how to describe it. I never do.

Music is so amazing. Seriously. (I'm listening to The Killers again, Read My Mind to be specific.) Just the way music can not only convey emotions, but actually produce them. What is it that makes songs like this so beautifully perfect? (I originally phrased that as comparison to crap music, but even Brittney Spears, 'nsync, and Creed, the groups that came to mind for crappy music, aren't really that bad, they're just shallow. I can't think of any bands that are really pointless, just a lot of bands i don't like) Music is powerful stuff, more so maybe than any other art form, at least in it's directness. Art can make you think, and sometimes visualize the abstract, theater has a lot of potential for conveying ideas and even draw you in to the emotion of the characters, but music can, within about 5 seconds, create completely real feelings and emotions. (I didn't mention dance. Dance has never done much for me, yeah it's beautiful and impressive, but it always seems that when it comes to conveying things, which i think is what all Art is at it's core, conveying the inexpressible, it's a very convoluted method with definite limitations, and it almost always depends a lot on music. Music can make you want to do stuff, dance, cry, go to war, etc. I have yet to get anything like that from dance, but maybe i've just been going to all the wrong places. In a lot of ways it seems like dance is a combination of music, art, and theater, but without some of the best parts of each. I didn't mention poetry either, but that's good stuff.) Someone should make really really good music for missionaries. My problem with religious music, mainstream Christian music especially is that the thought is good, but the Music and the Lyrics suck. Maybe they don't fit, i dunno. My impression is that most Christian songs are created by picking a absurdly simple thought (God is Good), jazzing it up with a couple of adjectives (God is SO good) and repeat until the song is long enough. Then grab an acoustic guitar, pick three chords, and go nuts! Too much Christian music tries to survive on the fact that it's Christian music alone. It ought to be music first, that just happens to be about Religious themes. I think the real power of music is also drastically under utilized. Religion is full of deep and difficult to express things. Why waste a song on something that can be explained in a sentence? I'm sure there's decent religious music out there, there are a whole bunch of hymns i like a lot, so there's no reason people haven't managed to make decent music about God that isn't in SATB chord structure.

I totally forgot to mention that i played piano for a Funeral last week. Happily, that went a lot better than some of my wedding exploits. (Can a funeral really ever go 'well'? Do you go home saying, that was a great funeral!) It also made me give a lot of thought to being cremated. The thought of being embalmed, sitting in a box slowly rotting, being paraded before all my relatives, and then dropped in the ground where i'll gradually decombone*, not romantically back into the earth, but covered in my own compost, into a zombie like wraith due to the box and all the poison pumped into me. No, fire has a very nice romanticism and purity to it. I think if i could pull it off, floating into the ocean on a pyre that's lit by flaming arrows would be pretty rockin, but i imagine they frown on that these days. Also the whole scattering of the ashes thing is way cool. I would still want a tombstone though, but someplace cool. Cemeteries are nice, but it's a little scary how many dead bodies are below you, and they are very necessarily public places. I want a little tombstone at the top of a mountain or something. It would be nice for it to be somewhere accessible though, so maybe at the lip of a valley. Another problem with having a tombstone above your corpse is that it's hard not to go and imagine what their body must look like at that very moment, whereas if you're cremated you can only be remembered as you were. On top of that, ground space is bound to get harder and harder to come by as time passes. I dunno if the Church has any policy on Cremation, I know we have standard procedures for funerals, but i've never heard anyone say cremation was frowned upon, I can't imagine why it would be, the end result is the same, time is the only differential (and the amount of poison the dirt around your body will soak up). One thing i don't like is the thought of Cremation itself. Because that is almost necessarily unceremonious, which is a shame really, given how ceremonious it can be. My imagination is them tossing your possibly naked corpse into a furnace. I'll have to scope out some cremators sometime in my life. Someplace with a pyre.

Wow, this post has drifted towards the macabre, but now you know, just incase there's a freak vespa accident while i'm in portugal.

So, that's the news from Biloxi Bay, where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average.



*I obviously meant to say decompose, but i think decombone is a hilarious word that conveys what's happening quite well

The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds

Things i'm going to miss more than Biloxi:

Swimming - One of my first and most prolonged loves, and something i've just recently rediscovered. Swimming is so incredibly relaxing and feels so good. Every time i swim after i haven't for a long time i can't imagine why i would ever have stopped. It's not hard to imagine two years without swimming, i've nearly done it before, but i will definitely miss the ability to just dive into the ocean for kicks, and there are only a few forms of exercise i enjoy more.

Music - So much. I was listening to The Killers today, and it's just so perfect. I can't believe that the Killers have been around for so long without me listening to them. I really only discovered them this last year, and that was mostly due to Guitar Hero. I almost bought their original CD, but decided it wasn't quite worth having it for only three weeks. But it really almost was. There's good Mission appropriate music out there, but nothing like the bands I've discovered over the past year or so. (Sufjan Stevens is also amazing)

Google - I'm not going to miss the internet. Having something to constantly waste my time on is not actually something i enjoy. The instant communication is handy, but it somehow cheapens conversation. And Facebook saps productivity like nothing else. I am, however, going to miss Google. I am so used to being able to instantly find whatever i want to know. Soon i'm going to have a question and have no immediate way to have it be answered, i suppose i could ask people, but that's never very reliable.

My Family - It would be insulting if i didn't mention them. This is going to be the first time that I'll be in a place that really doesn't have any family. In Utah i could always fall back on Cami when there were no friends to be had. Even after i had made friends, hanging out with her was generally more fun, but it seems important to make friends. For all the crap i give Isaac, i'm sure i'll miss him. It's also a shame that i'll be missing the 2010 family reunion, i bet this one will be absurdly awesome to reverse the trend. What if it's the last family reunion? Our family is getting too big for these massive weekend getaways to remain feasible.

I've already been missing my friends, but i'm going to miss them in Portugal too. Two years is a long time to go without seeing people. In the last two years though i've already gone at least one year without seeing any given friend, so i think i'll deal.

I don't think other things will be a problem, movies and tv are cool, but i can survive pretty well without them. Sleeping late isn't really something i enjoy, and staying up late doesn't work when there's no computers or tv. So yeah, i think that covers most things. I'm not too worried about going two years without girls, although it will be weird to go two years without close friends that are girls. I've historically become close friends with girls before i've made friends with guys (other than in elementary school). I'm sure that has something to do with having three older sisters but i'm not going to worry about it to much. Normal clothes will be a bit of a bummer to lose, but i'll get to look forward to getting an entire new wardrobe when i come back, so that's exciting.

Speaking of new wardrobe, I got a new face! At least it feels sort of like that. I picked up my two pairs of glasses today.

Retro!

From This way to infinity

And, more normal glasses. I call this one Engineer Ammon (at 1 a.m.)

From This way to infinity

So, it's taken me a little while to get used to them, but i've decided they'll pass. Hopefully my loyal readers will approve, since i care a lot more about what you think about them than what i think (i spend a lot less time looking at myself, contrary to popular belief.) so yeah, feedback away.

Oh, there's also this picture from our stint in the church house, i think it's awesome.

From This way to infinity

One last glasses picture. It was unavoidable:

From This way to infinity

Please tell me why

Today i saw a commercial for a compilation album of 90's alternative rock. When did i get so old?

You are my everything

My alarm clock is iTunes, this morning Ben Folds - Losing Lisa came on while i was half asleep, and i didn't realize until later today when i was listening to iTunes some more why it was stuck in my head and why i wanted to make a joke about somebody being my everything, so don't read too much into the title.

Anyway, i'm better, i had a pretty all around crappy weekend, but it's over, i'll live. Hm, i set out to make a blog post, but i realized that i don't really have anything else to talk about...yup i got nothing. oh well. How did college life end become so dramatic, i thought that was supposed to end when i switched my little tassel to the other side. Oh well, i deal.

~Exquisite Dead Guy

Catch a wave and you're sittin' on top of the world

So, what can i say about to day. I went to a concert and heard the format (cool) and Jack's Mannequin (also very cool). I crowd surfed, which was awesome. And then i hung out and then got free ice cream and then watched anchorman, all or mostly with (in order of appearence) Cathy, James, Kelsey, Flora, and Vanessa.

I also have now met every single one of my hometeaching people, and my companion, so i'm pretty well set up. So yeah.

Good Day.

it's been too long. Life has been going strong for a little while now. I've almost finished all my training for Sal and Mookie's, so that's pretty much awesome. I get my first paycheck tomorrow, and it should be around 100 dollars or so. Gonna spend some money.

Prom was good, dinner was great, and inexpensive, and prom was good, much better than last year, and i after party'd a little bit. Drinking isn't really my scene, so i left at some point.

Lets see, this week not a whole lot has been happening, but i've caught up on school and worked a bunch, and haven't really had a chance to hang out at all. Today was my senior recital, which was exciting, i didn't play my best, but i played alright, and got kudos of all variety.

I don't have all that much to write about. Cami flew out today, that was kinda sad, but i'll see her fairly soon. I don't really know what i'm going to do this summer, cus my parents are probably moving and i have a job and all that. it's confusing. Anyway, i'm going to do nothing

until next time.

Well, conference today was good. I finished the things they carried, which ended kinda abrubtly, and too soon to keep me from getting bored in the two hours between sessions. Saturday i had MMTA, and i think i did alright in that. We'll see though. My last MMTA ever. crazy crazy.

Lets see, other news. I got my report card back and i'm somehow failing government, if i don't pull that up i'm going to have to do summer school, that kinda sucks. We'll see what i can do about that. Also, i think i'm going to ask Roberta to prom, she already has a ticket and it's just handy. I know it hasn't worked out well in the past, but i think this'll be different.

Still no word on the job front, they said they'd call me, hopefully i'll hear about that. I want a job a lot.

The Daily Blah Indeed

I decided it's silly to keep to blogs. I'll merge my old blog into this blog at some point, and from not on good entries will be few and far between.

So today could have been far better than it was.

Camping is causing all sorts of problems. It would have been so simple if everybody hadn't found out about it. Roberta's being about as unfriendly as possible, which is not the way to convince me to go camping. There's really no possible way for everybody to go on this camp. Why does everybody think they can hike nine miles with 30-40 pounds on their back. I'm not sure i can, and i'm in better physical condition than most of my friends. It's almost worth letting everybody come and then just leaving them, but i wouldn't do that, because that'd be wrong, and the camp would end up sucking.

Other problems arise from other issues. Issues which i have to deal with, i really don't want to, but i need to, and it's going to be hard for me to tell people i'm friends with, straight out, you can't go. It really comes down to either completely scrapping this camp and doing somewhere else, or not caving and pissing everybody off. I love the idea of going camping with everybody. But it's not possible for this one, and i really want this to be exactly what i've planned and hoped it to be.

the other problem is money. Driving is going to cost over $100 per car, which means that we really need people in groups of 5.

So yeah, a simple escape from civilization is turning out to be very copmlicated and rather uncivilized.

In other news i've spent the last hour or so figuring out how to play zelda music using my shnazzy keyboard. So far i've gotten the bass, guitar, second guitar, and almost the trumpet part. I'm planning on putting it all together to make the song sound the same, which when i really think about it doesn't sound that cool on it's own, but i'll know how cool it'll be, and that's all that count.

Oh, and two of my sisters now have blogs. We're so cool.